"We Sent Jimmy Away To A Nice Family Farm" Says Kyle Shanahan To George Kittle


San Francisco, CA-Having just put down Jimmy Garoppolo after poor play from the quarterback, as well as rookie Trey Lance outplaying him, Head Coach Kyle Shanahan was unsure of how to broach the subject with tight end George Kittle. "Ever since Jimmy came here, George has been infatuated. I know I have to break it to him, but I need him on his A game, and can't have him being distracted by news like this", said Shanahan, unsure of how to tell Kittle. "I know, I'll tell him we decided to give Jimmy away to a nice family farm, like the ones Teddy Bridgewater, Matt Cassel, Baker Mayfield, and Nick Foles reside at". Shanahan then sat Kittle down in the locker room and began to break down the news. "George, you may have heard a lot about Jimmy in recent weeks. That we would put him down due to his finger injury", said Shanahan. "The truth is, we gave away Jimmy to a nice family farm, where he can roam free with other quarterbacks with middling consistency, and throw as many inaccurate passes as he likes", said Shanahan, sure that he had adverted controversy. "Can he throw interceptions on the family farm too?" asked Kittle. "Of course", reassured Shanahan. "He can even fumble the ball on the farm". At press time Shanahan had reportedly said "Fuck, what are we going to do?" after Kittle asked If he could visit Jimmy at some point.

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