Totally Straight NFL Experts Concerned Over Player Small Hands


Indianapolis, Indiana-Incredibly straight and not a gay man whatsoever, NFL draft expert Mel Kiper, expressed concerns over QB prospect Kenny Pickett's small hands. "Very few QBs have succeeded with such small hands", said the totally straight, not gay NFL Draft Expert. "Small hands means he'll have problems gripping the ball, as well as gripping other stuff if you know what I mean. He'll struggle to throw the ball, and won't do well in cold weather due to shrinkage..... Plus small hands often correlates to other things.... such as small feet which could lead to him being a statue in the pocket." Mel Kippers analysis received positive reaction from other totally straight analysts whom spend all day analyzing other men's physical features. Among the other features Draft experts took issue with was his long hair, and unshaven face which they argued "would prevent him from being a fan favorite" and had nothing to do with weather or not they found him attractive. At press time NFL draft experts worried over what Pickett's large F-150 truck could reveal about the prospect's physicality.


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