Tablet To Press Charges Against Tom Brady

Tampa Bay, FL-Citing irrevocable damage done, the tablet which Tom Brady violently threw in a 9-0 loss against the New Orleans Saints has announced he will be pressing charges over the incident. The tablet, who asked to remain anonymous, but appeared to be one of the NFL's many Microsoft tablets summarized the event in harrowing detail. "I think like many Americans, I thought Brady was going to get angry, and then make that fiery comeback he always does", Said the tablet, in reference to Brady's constant motivation. "Unfortunately, that moment never came. What came instead was rage, and regret, that with no one else to blame was scape-goated on to me. The force and accuracy he threw me with was nonetheless admirable but broke my screen, and several buttons". The tablet had been a longtime teammate to Brady, but "never had any issues like this" during his tenure. "When he announced he was heading to Tampa, I was one of the first people to congratulate him and follow him to the Bucs", said the tablet. "In the end, my loyalty meant nothing". The incident resulted in life-threatening damage and a blemish on Tom Brady's stellar reputation for handling tablets. At press time, Tom Brady had switched to I-Pads, after other window tablets had expressed fear in working with him.