Steelers To Trade For Every Active Quarterback In The League

Pittsburgh, PA-After being connected throughout the year and even years prior to all 189 active quarterbacks in the NFL, the Pittsburgh Steelers announced today they would finally be putting ink to paper and make a move. "We here in Pittsburgh are excited for our future with any of these possible quarterbacks all of whom have starting potential, that is with Mason's approval," Said General Manager and whipping boy Kevin Colbert. Although this move has been long rumored by NFL insiders everywhere, from those who make things up out of thin air like Adam Schefter to the reputable Instagram comment section of every Steelers post, It was still a shock to behold. With talents such as Russel Wilson, Justin Herbert, Aaron Rodgers, and Patrick Mahomes, the Steelers will have top-tier backup quarterbacks to support Mason Rudolph until his retirement. In exchange, the Steelers had to give every single draft pick for the next 10,000 years up, which is approximately when the sun will explode and kill everyone, as well as the date Mason Rudolph retires. Along with offering Art Rooney II as a sacrifice to the 32 Teams the Steelers were involved with, the Steelers also gave up items of significant cultural importance such as the Heinz ketchup bottle in the Stadium, and a formal apology for appropriating the terrible towels from Native American Culture.