Rodger Goodell Rendered Paraplegic After Hug From Draft Prospect


Las Vegas, NV-The NFL announced that Rodger Goodell would be taking a break from hosting the NFL draft after revealing a hug from Evan Neal was so crushing, that Goodell was rendered paraplegic. Goodell who is often hugged by prospects at the draft following the selection, had already been hugged by several 300-pound men, thanks to a rich lineman class. Doctors believe these previous hugs helped deteriorate his body until Neal came, and Goodell's body could no longer take it. The sound of Goodell's back-breaking was met with cheers and applause marking the first time Goodell had experienced such a reaction. Though Neal has yet to play a single snap many fans and experts argue the hug alone makes him a surefire Hall of Famer. The NFL assured the media that despite becoming paraplegic he would somehow be ready for day 2 of the draft. At press time the NFL announced they had offered Goodell the same painkillers which they offer NFL players, to which Goodell responded "Hell No"


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