Report: Tom Brady Breaks Another Fucking Record


Tampa Bay, FL- Breaking News: Sources report asshole Tom Brady breaks another fucking record. No, we don't know what it is, and yes we are aware he's the greatest, but does he have to break a record every week? Last week he beat his 32nd team tying another record. Two weeks ago he recorded the most wins over for a quarterback, and now he's thrown the most touchdown passes ever. Can't' someone else break a record? ? It's bad enough his team is successful... can he stick to one lane? What about Ben Roethlisberger? Or Lamar Jackson? Can't they break a record? Doesn't the man have a family? Kids? A smoking wife? The level of record breaking Brady is achieving is obsessive. Getting all these awards for most touchdown passes surely must translate into least time spent parenting. At press time Tom Brady became the quickest player to reach age 44.


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