top of page

NFL To Force Deshaun Watson To Become Robert Kraft's Masseuse As Punishment

Cleveland, OH-Due to criticism from fans, women, and decent human beings everywhere, the NFL has decided to add a stipulation to their 6 game suspension of Deshaun Watson. As per the new agreement, Deshaun Watson is not only suspended 6 games, but also forced to be Robert Kraft's masseuse for the reminder of the 2022 NFL season. "We had an owners meeting about the issues at play, and we knew we had to do something about the lack of severe punishment, as well as something about the lack of discrete masseuse I had available. It was right then and there a solution was hatched that killed two birds with one stone." said Kraft. "if he's willing to do anything for the team, anything to avoid a longer suspension then he should be perfectly fine servicing me as a masseuse . I trust Watson knows the value of a discrete masseuse ".Deshaun Watson said although the situation was not ideal, he understood the pain of a poor masseuse . "I went through 66 of them, so believe me when I say I know what Mr. Kraft is going through right now, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to play football again." At press tine, the NFL announced Watson would also be forced to watch game film on Kyler Murray's behalf as part of the punishment.



bottom of page