NFL Shamefully Admits Dee Virgin Has Only Remained In League For So Long Because Of Hilarious Name


New York- NY- In a joint press conference held by Commissioner Roger Goodell and 6 NFL coaches last night including Bill O'Brien, Kyle Shanahan, Bill Belichick, Sean McVay, Matt Patricia, and Matt Nagy the league shamefully admitted that Dee Virgin, an undrafted 2017 rookie who has remained in the league on nearly 6 teams despite playing in only two games, was only signed because of his hilarious name. "We had no interest in Dee Virgin's talent-if we did he would have been drafted", said Shanahan. "You should have seen how many teams called him during the draft. Nearly 30 of them, which is far more than either Russel Wilson or Dak Prescott got. And there's a reason for that. The value of a laugh for everyone on your team is often more motivating than any franchise quarterback", Said McVay. Our offense was struggling at the time, and we passed up on Austin Eckler, Dan Arnold, Taysom Hill, Ricky Seals Jones, Kendrick Bourne, and Tim Patrick, just to make sure we signed Mr. Virgin", said O'Brien holding back laughter. "Before Dee joined our team" said Belichick. "I had never actually smiled before" as what appeared to be a smirk grew on his face. "Plus, I knew if we signed him, so would Matt". When asked if Jake Butt's long illustrious career was also a result of an unfortunate name, the league hastily denied allegations. At press time Dee Virgin was seen buying his 5th Lamborghini.




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