New Deshaun Watson Release Program Allows Him To Serve Time, Take Furlough For Practice, Games.


Houston, Texas- A new prison policy for the rich and famous is in its inaugural stage this week. The prison policy will first be tried on Texan's quarterback Deshaun Watson, whose lawyers negotiated for this in exchange for culpability. As part of the program he will receive a temporary release to attend practice and games for his team. When not doing so Watson will reside in Belle Reve Penitentiary. Deshaun Watson's lawyer called the new circumstances a victory for convict and celebrity rights. If successful the program may be expanded beyond athletes and into celebrities and any other people who are better then us regular peasants. Roman Polanski for example could direct on weekends while serving the rest of his time in prison. Bill Cosby could take weekends off for a planned reboot of the Cosby Show, and to perform standup, while serving the rest of his time as a model prisoner. Chris Brown could perform concerts while spending the rest of his time in prison for his yearly beating of whoever is his girlfriend at the time. Regardless, with a huge victory for celebrity rights, its clear to see that just because you commit a horrible crime shouldn't prevent you from being able to create beautiful art.


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