Matt Ryan, Matthew Stafford, Sam Darnold to found Abused Quarterback Shelter

After years of abuse at the hands of both family and friends, Quarterbacks Matthew Stafford, Sam Darnold, and Matt Ryan have promised to found a shelter for those in similar situations. The mission statement for the shelter currently reads "The Abused Quarterback Shelter is dedicated to empowering survivors of abusive teams and fans through the provision of competent offensive lineman, counseling, and contractual services. The Abused Quarterback shelter seeks to connect victims with a nurturing community while ensuring their independence, and self-esteem". Several Quarterbacks told their stories of abuse in the inaugural press conference. "I think the first time I recognized I was in an abusive relationship was when Ndamukong Suh curb stomped me in a scrimmage game. Then the Fans cheered,” said quarterback Matthew Stafford. "I realized I was in an abusive relationship when I was told that the team's lack of success was completely on me. Also when Adam Gase sniffed my hair, and came on to me,” said Darnold. Matt Ryan told his story of survival as well. "I knew it was abusive when I was sacked for the 53rd consecutive play in a row". "The purpose of our organization is to ensure we are the last quarterbacks who ever go through this", said Ryan. At press time, the organization welcomed Cam Newton, Ben Roethlisberger, and Tua Tagovailoa with welcome arms.