Man Suffers First Fantasy Football Concussion After Slamming Head Into Wall Repeatedly After Loss
Fantasy Football Doctors announced Monday, James Bradberry had suffered the first fantasy football concussion since the conception of Fantasy Football in the Garden of Eden, Shortly after Adam was married. The concussion appeared to be the result of serious head-to-wall trauma. "Mr. Bradberry appeared to be suffering from a concussion. Our analysis of his head and the head-shaped hole in the wall was that he most likely looked at his team and in pure disgust slammed it into the wall. Upon examining his team-which lost by 0.04 this week, we saw Patrick Mahomes, San Francisco Defense, Amari Cooper, James Robinson, Courtland Sutton, Ezekiel Elliot, Saquon Barkley, Travis Kelce, and Adam Thielen. Frankly, Mr. Bradberry is lucky to have survived. Most people who boasted such an atrocious and frankly sickening lineup would have slammed their head into the wall so many times they would have surely contracted CTE or a brain bleed. This is truly a testament to his self-control and perseverance." At press time, the doctor's orders were revealed to be no Fantasy Football for the next two weeks, and no using the waiver wire for another 4 weeks. Additionally, a healthy prescription of Matthew Berry was recommended, although the patient said he believes he can suffer through it on his own, and didn't want to have to go through the weaning off process of Berryisms.