Life Expectancy Of Vikings Fans Lowered By 4 Years By Single Game


Minneapolis, MN-The CDC reported on Monday that just the single game that occurred last week between the Steelers and the Vikings has lowered the age expectancy of a Vikings by 4 years. "Simply put. You cannot make games this tense without expecting some medical results like this. The average Vikings fan who is 100 pounds overweight, exercises on a bi-monthly basis, and frequently gets angry, simply can't handle the constant turnovers, lost leads, and poor defensive plays without having a yearly heart attack". The game which resulted in a 34-28 win, had the Vikings turning the ball over 4 times, blowing a lead of 24, then fumbling on the goal-line, and getting a safety to win. "If this level of play continues we expect the average fan to die 20 years earlier than the US average". The CDC remarked that it was not just fans impacted by the Viking's erratic play, but players as well, with two offensive linemen dying during last week's game as a result of a heart attack. At press time, the CDC announced the life expectancy of a Patriots fan was 10 years above the US average.

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