Josh Norman To Replace Richard Sherman As 49er's Team Asshole

Norman, below, showing his great Assholery from his 2015 Pro Bowl Season

San Francisco, CA- The 49ers suffered a huge loss this offseason after failing to come to terms with Richard Sherman on a new contract. The result was the prolonged vacancy of the position of an asshole- a necessary component of any championship run. Jalen Ramsey, Ray Lewis, and Michael Irvin are just a few examples of some of the great assholes, who, in their prime lead their team to the Super Bowl. To replace Sherman as Team Asshole the 49ers signed veteran Josh Norman. Josh Norman is no stranger to the position either. During the 2015 Panthers Super Bowl run, Norman managed to establish himself as the team's No.1 asshole despite the presence of fellow asshole Cam Newton. The Bills opted not to resign Norman last year, most likely due to the emergence of new No. 1 asshole Cole Beasley. In his opening press conference as a 49er, Norman was pleased to be with the team. "As the resident piece of shit, I hope I can obnoxiously bring you a super bowl ring, and then make you all loathe me after I leave the team in a fit of rage where I ask for a ridiculously high extension for a 34-year-old cornerback".