John Madden, Pat Summerall Currently Critiquing Jesus's Throwing Motion In Heaven


Heaven, God's Kingdom-John Madden and Pat Summerall seemed to critique Jesus's throwing motions heavily during their broadcast of the annual football game amongst God's children. "You just can't throw like that, and be one of the 32 starting quarterbacks in this league", said Madden, after Jesus underthrew Judas during the game. "I mean, who does this Jesus guy think he is?" chimed in Summerall. "God or something?". "Jesus is alright, but I think Brett Favre would really succeed as quarterback of this team with his huge arm and deep passion and love for the game", added Madden. Madden also seemed to be infatuated with Lucifer as well saying his off the field behavior "embodied that Raider spirit" he loved to coach. Joseph meanwhile recorded 4 receptions on the day, and was praised by the announcing duo and referred to by Madden as a "scrappy" slot-man, especially making note of his touchdown catch. "Now if you look here Pat, you'll see a touchdown", said Madden drawing a circle around the end zone in the replay. "For the folks at home, when the quarterback throws the ball into the end zone y'know, and the wide receiver catches it, y'know, that's called a touchdown. Boom!" The Goliath, whom played the defensive line during the game was also a highlight for Madden, who called him "The greatest defensive player I've seen since Lawrence Taylor". At the conclusion of the game, Madden was served the elusive 8 legged chicken, a heaven delicacy. At press time, Madden seemed to express disappointment over Cheerleader and Mother/Saint Mary's fully clothed body.







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