Jeff Saturday Cites Madden Experience As Key Preparation Responsible For Victory

Indianapolis, IN- With the Colts coming away with a victory on Sunday despite their head coach having zero NFL experience, many wondered where he had gained such skills. Although many theorized it could have had something to do with his 13-year career, the center told the press that it was a result of none other then playing Madden. "They say stimulation football and boy are they right. I didn't think Madden would translate to real life as well as it did because, unlike AI, most teams stop calling certain plays if they aren't working. Thankfully, this concept was foreign to Josh McDaniels," said Saturday who became the second coach to attribute a victory to Madden this year, with the first being Dan Campbell. "When we ran that flea flicker, I thought no way that works as well as it does in Madden, and it sure did. Almost every bug or unrealistic feature I'd come across in Madden was alive and in our game vs the Raiders." Saturday went on to explain how playing the game helped him learn the Raiders weaknesses. "I knew because Derek Carr had low throw power we could play press. Offensively I figured out by having seen Johnathon Taylor play that all I had to do was hand him the fucking ball. It turns out running HB Dive 37 plays in a row is an effective strategy!" Amongst the many noticeable similarities between Madden and the actual football game that occurred this past Sunday, Saturday said the trash talk was the most inaccurate. "Contrary to popular belief, McDaniels did not call me the n-word after the game and quit, as my opponents in Madden normally do." At press time Mark Davis explained that the raiders no longer tolerated that type of post-game trash talk, ever since they fired Gruden. When asked whether rumors were true that Saturday had Johnathon Taylor on his fantasy team, Saturday did not comment, instead concluding the conference by saying "This whole football coaching thing is pretty easy," a comment he surely won't regret given they play the 8-0 eagles next week.