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Fantasy Football Injury Updates Just Full-On Stalking Now


Fantasy Football updates, a key part of the fantasy football community allowing those who play to be updated about players' every move, seem to have morphed into just stalking. "What we can tell about Derrick Henry's Injury, is that he is able to walk," Said Matthew Berry using information acquired by following the running back to his house. "As for Deandre Hopkins, he was seemingly able to play hot scotch with his kids, so I would take that Injury report with a grain of salt", Berry concluded, failing to see the issue with following someone to their kid's school playground. "Questions about Kirk Cousins' arm strength can be put to bed"', chimed In Yates. "We saw his strength being displayed all at once when he played catch with his son intimately in their backyard". Yates, who may have stood and watched a little too long, yearning for a similar relationship with his own father, also provided a similarly creepy insight into Jerry Jeudy. "Finally, it appears as though Jerry Jeudy will in fact play Sunday as the family situation keeping him off the field-that of his grandmother's impending death seems to be be delayed for at least the next three weeks , according to her doctors, who gave us an exclusive". This was Information that not even Jeudy himself was privy to. At press time, Adam Schefter announced he would be getting a side job working for TMZ.

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