Falcons Announce Next Week's 52 Man Roster Just Cordarrelle Patterson

Atlanta, GA-With The Falcon's struggling at nearly any position save the several ones Cordarrelle Patterson plays, the Falcons announced their entire 52 man roster this Sunday would consist of entirely Patterson. "Let's be honest. With Ridley and Jones gone, and Matt Ryan dying, there's only 1 bright spot left. Cordelle Patterson." said head coach Arthur Smith. "He's playing two positions, while also succeeding in both more than our projected starters. And really what's 18 more? If he can catch the ball on offense, he can catch it on defense. He's already made several tackles thanks to Matt Ryan, so he's equally prepared for playing linebacker. Growing up Patterson was an only child. As a result, he was forced to throw the ball to himself in his backyard and has honed those skills finely over the years making him the perfect quarterback/wide receiver option. I do not think it is possible that Cordelle Patterson alone on his own will somehow put up a worse effort than our entire team. At the very least It will be far more entertaining." At press time, the saints had announced a similar philosophy with Taysom Hill compromising their entire 53 man roster for Sunday's game.