Doctors Announce Davis Mills Neck To Grow With Each Win
Houston, TX-Team doctors for the Houston Texans announced today, that quarterback David Mills neck seems to grow 2-3 inches with every win as a starting QB. "When David Mills first started for this team his height was listed at 6'4. He now appears to be 7'1. By looking through medical records and establishing a clear timeline of NFL games, we have come to one conclusion. The only rational explanation for the events, appears to be that with each Houston Texans win, he grows, like Pinocchio with lies". The doctors predict should Mills play into his 30's his final height will be 12'2-nearly that of a giraffe, as well as the second tallest player in the NFL behind Mike Glennon, who's neck adds an extra 7 feet of height. The doctors made comparisons to Deshaun Watson, who's penis and libido grew after every win. How the NFL will choose to stop his rapid growth, or prevent a 12'2 being from having an unfair advantage was unknown at press time.