Detroit Lions Win First-Ever NFL Game

Detroit, MI-Having never won a game in their nearly 68-year record, the Detroit Lions made history Sunday with their first-ever win. The Lions have boasted a 0-368-11 record during the last 68 years, all under the ownership of the Ford Family. "This win represents a real turning point in our Franchise history. Now we have one win.... one can only imagine the possibilities. Next year we could have two wins!" Said Owner Marcia Ford, whose family has received criticism for never winning a football game under their leadership. Although the team has come close several times over the years, including a matchup in 2017 where they only lost by 43 points, This was the first lions win ever. "To be a part of this team's history with their first-ever win... is something important to me. Hopefully, it's something we can build around and use to fuel 3-4 win seasons in the future," said Coach Dan Campbell. The fanbase appeared to be happy with the results. "It's been hard being a fan of the Lions. But things are looking up. And with our first win ever it's time for me to get un-proportionally excited about the team, then get pissed off when it doesn't meet my expectations and demand we fire our coach", said one fan. At press time, the Jaguars had yet to get their very own elusive win.