Deshaun Watson To Treat Browns Offense To Team Massage


Cleveland, OH-As part of his new tenure as starting Quarterback of the Cleveland Browns, Deshaun Watson announced Monday he would be taking the team out for a group massage. "There's so many key parts of getting to know the guys in the huddle. And a great way for me to achieve that is too participate in one of my favorite activities with them, sexual ass-i mean a mutually consensual massage", said Watson. "I think this helps us get an idea of how we want the season to end among other things, if you know what I mean. Furthermore, massages can be a great tool to help you get to know your body, especially if the Masseuse is some random chick you messaged on Instagram." Browns running back Kareem Hunt applauded the bonding experience. "I cant think of a better way for athletes to bond then by mutually abusing power. Sure you can abuse power alone, but its always better to do it with friends. The last team I was on a team this committed to bonding through criminal acts was the Kansas City Chiefs, and we almost won a super bowl". When asked if he was concerned over the event in context to Deshaun Watson's criminal allegations. Browns General Manager Andrew Berry said "Deshaun's giving back to the community once again with thousands of dollars, showing his commitment to being an upstanding citizen". At press time Deshaun Watson's Lawyer had announced a retirement from ever representing an athlete ever again.


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