Clyde Edwards-Helaire Murders Cowboys Player With Finger Guns

Kansas City, MI-During Sunday's game between the Chiefs and Cowboys, running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire appeared to brutally murder Luke Gifford, as he utilized a deadly finger gun in celebration. Helaire is part of a growing number of NFL players whose celebrations have turned deadly, as well as a growing number of players emphasizing finger guns. Critics argue that the celebration of taunting is responsible for the growing rise of gun violence among youth, as does the NFL. "Allowing people to kill each other, destroy their brains, and destroy their bodies for money and fun is fine. But finger guns- and the promotion of violence is where we have to draw the line", said Commissioner Rodger Goodell. The NFL cited this example as what happens in an NFL full of unregulated taunting. "What we need in this league is simple. Law and Order. Without it, without the often Orwellian taunting rules, this is what happens. And yes I did read 1984", said Commissioner Rodger Goodell. The league had not seen such unprecedented violence since Reggie Bush murdered the entire Bears team with his own semi-auto finger gun in the 2006 NFC Championship Game. At press time, the NFL had expanded their finger-ban gun to finger ARs such as the one Rashad Fenton had used when he accidentally injured 6 fans in that that very same game. Upon further review at press time, it had also been revealed the murder was determined to be a penalty of 15 yards for unnecessary roughness.