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Camera Man Missing After Taping Tender Locker Room Moment That Revealed Belichick Was Human

Foxborough, MA-After a tender moment was accidentally revealed by a New England cameraman, where Bill Belichick seemed to warmly embrace WR Kendrick Bourne, the cameraman has gone missing. In the video, Belichick can be seen both hugging and shaking hands-two key greetings of the human race. "Analyst" Skip Bayless gave his thoughts on the video footage. "What that cameraman did was destroy the great secret of New England. That Bill Belichick is human". Owner Robert Kraft chimed in with analysis of his own as well. "For years, his enigma was the driving force behind the failure of so many teams to best him. By erasing this enigma the cameraman has cursed this franchise for years to come and will be offered as a sacrifice to the now totally human Bill Belichick". The NFL addressed Kraft's call to cannibalism, and speaking on an active missing persons case similarly to his solicitation charges-by completely ignoring it. At press time, no such footage conclusively proving that Bill's son, Stephan, was human had been discovered.

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