Anonymous Omniscient Insider Whom ESPN Keeps Citing Revealed To Be God Himself


New York, NY- . Having received flack for unworthy sourcing on a series of articles including one claiming Desmond Riddler has first-round grades from multiple GMs ESPN revealed their source to be none other than God. God was revealed to be the lone source on nearly 4,397 different reports from ESPN. "it's a good thing they revealed it because if we didn't know any better one might think ESPN was inventing stories for the sake of attention....", said one reporter who asked to remain anonymous. "God is real..... and he's a football fan", said ESPN reporter Adam Schefter. "Who else but God could have predicted Tom Brady's retirement then unretirement. Who else could have discovered the fracture between Arians and Brady?" God also gave his thoughts on his history as a source. "It's true that I'm the source. When you have to deal with as much bullshit as I do, sometimes you need to get it out in the world. People think I only communicate with priests and preachers because I want a message to get out there.......... like many people I care far more about sports than any message at this point. Go Jets!" At press time, God revealed he would be starting a podcast so that he could better deliver news directly to the fans

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