Aaron Rodgers Traded To Spotify

Austin, TX- Seeking a team who aligned with his beliefs of never shutting the fuck up, Aaron Rodgers was officially traded to Spotify last night. In exchange the Packers received Neil Young, Crosby, Stills, and Nash, all of whom had contract disputes with Spotify and hopefully can fill Rodger's shoes as quarterback of Greenbay. Rodgers will be joining longtime 5-month-old friend and world-renowned medical expert, Joe Rogan. As part of the contract agreement, Rodgers will have to create his own podcast as well as release approximately 24 albums and 290 songs, in order to fully replace Neil Young, Crosby, Stills, And Nash. At press time, Spotify refused to sign Antonio Brown as co host, further spurring Rodgers by leaving him without a clear cut #1 WR, causing him to demand a trade to SoundCloud.