Aaron Rodgers Attempts To "Immunize" Self From Interceptions
Below Aaron Rodgers can be seen before grumbling "Cancel Culture, Witch Hunt, Woke Mob!" at unsuspecting fans
Greenbay, WI-Citing health concerns over Matt Lafleur's new playbook and system designed to keep a TD-INT ratio positive, Aaron Rodgers announced Thursday he had gone through an immunization process to protect himself from interceptions. "If you want to follow a playbook, and listen to your coach, that's your right," said Rodgers. "But I should also have the right to wing that ball wherever the hell I want. In either scenario, an interception can occur, so I don't see what the difference is. If "The rulebook" is so effective why has Patrick Mahomes thrown 10 interceptions this year? Or how about Zach Wilson, Heinicke, Lawerence? All of them choose to follow the playbook and they're in a worse spot after all. Joe Rogan even taught me some new UFC/Karate/Taekwondo/Roganism moves to protect myself from incoming defenders. If the woke mob is going to come after me because I want the right to play ball my way, then let them come. If my team has an issue with that, then I'd rather I will be somewhere else that can appreciate freedom like Jacksonville, where the only thing more dead than the population of the city is the energy of the team". In his description of the immunization process, Rodgers said that Fiancée Shailene Woodley chanted "Stairway to Heaven" backward as Rodgers lay in a bath solely of MLM skincare products. At press time, Shailene announced she would naturally birth their child into the very same skincare vat of acid.