Latest Covid Variant "Cooties" Extremely Susceptible to Kids 12 and Below


Washington, DC-Dr. Fauci announced Monday that the latest COVID Variant otherwise known as "Cooties" was extremely common amongst middle, elementary school, and below. "Although doctors have yet to determine a cause for the mutation, young girls appear to be the carrier of the illness, although it affects young boys the most. All we can recommend at this point is for young boys to stay away from young girls. Do not share pens with them. Do not hold hands. Do not play hopscotch with them, Soccer, Four Square, or any other kinds of games. And do not under any circumstances kiss them. All of these are common ways the disease is transferred, and are additionally seen as "incredibly gay" by their peers. We recommend bullying, full masking up, and a shot of testosterone to shield children from this new variant". At press time, Fauci announced yet another mutation had arrived, known as the "Cheese Touch" which was far more dangerous due to it Impacting both genders.


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